This Sunday’s reading from Jeremiah really touched a nerve within me that has required some thought and prayer to come to grips with just what it means for my life.

The reading for those that may not know it is Jeremiah 20: 7-9

You duped me, O Lord, and I let myself be duped; you were too strong for me, and you triumphed.  All the day I am an object of laughter; everyone mocks me.  Whenever I speak, I must cry out, violence and outrage is my message; the word of the Lord has brought me derision and reproach all the day.  I say to myself, I will not mention him, I will speak in his name no more. But then it becomes like fire burning in my heart, imprisoned in my bones; I grow weary holding it in, I cannot endure it.

The role of the prophet was many faceted: they would make prophecies yes, but they were also the moral compass of the people. It was their duty to call out those that were not following God’s law – especially the kings and the priests.  This alone made the prophets less than welcome. Many times it caused them to be murdered.

Jeremiah, when called had made excuses, I’m too young, and I don’t know how to speak. God would have none of it – just as with Moses!  God reminded Jeremiah that:

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you, a prophet to the nations I appointed you.       -Jeremiah 1:5

As a kid I remember wanting to be many things when I grew up.  But only 2 were constants, the others would change and grow or fall away as I got older and found new interests.  The two that never changed?

Well, the first was to be a Consecrated Religious, which through the Grace of God, I have become. And I thank God each and every moment for it – even when it’s not easy!
The second is like the first, to be a priest and serve at the altar. And by the Grace of God, and with His continued blessings, I am working my way toward that.

But there were also a few other things I wanted to be that haven’t left my memories.  I wanted to be a teacher, to inspire, to enlighten, and to help others learn something that maybe they didn’t know before, or understand something that they just couldn’t grasp before.

I also wanted to be a musician.  Not like most of you are thinking.  I wanted to sing and play for God.  I wanted to be out there on the stage singing His words.  I saw that as a way to strengthen people’s faith, to enlighten them on just how good our God is.  I wanted to sing his praises for all of the blessings he had given me.

And I wanted to be a writer. I wanted to write words that people wanted to read. I wanted to be known and famous for the books I’d published, for the way my words had affected peoples hearts and lives.

Then life happened.

I was no longer a child, no longer a teenager.  Working to pay the rent and the other bills became the norm…and my dreams lay forgotten.That’s where Jeremiah’s voice comes into this.

Because when God places His mark on you…there really is no where to run.

As I’ve said before I did try and run, run so far I ended up right where I began: on my knees in prayer.  And His words to me?  Welcome back, it took you long enough!

Like Jeremiah, when God places His mark on your soul, you just can’t help but follow His will.  It’s OK at first, but then over time, it starts to burn deep in your heart, deep down inside, and you know that if you don’t do it, don’t shout it from the roof tops, you will burst into a thousand pieces.  And even then, you will still burn with that desire.

I’m fast approaching middle age, and looking back at my dreams in childhood, I realized that I have achieved all but one of those childhood dreams – the ones that were more permanent, and I am working on the last one.

I am a Religious – by the Grace of God.

I am a teacher in a way. No I don’t stand in front of a classroom and teach English Lit, like I wanted to. But each day by my life, my vocation, my prayers, my love of humanity, my outward compassion for those in need.  I am a teacher.

I am working on becoming a priest – with God’s continued Grace and Blessings.

I am a musician – I am organist at a wonderful little church in my town – Divine Savior Catholic Mission, in Celina, TN – stop by one Saturday evening for Mass if you are in this neck of the woods.  Instead of playing on stage for thousands singing God’s praise, I get to sing with my fellow Christians songs of praise, songs of petition, songs of sorrow, and songs of joy and hope, all in front of the King Himself residing in the Tabernacle.

And I am a writer. No, I’m not a famous author who has inspired the hearts and minds of countless thousands.  I write a modest blog every week or so, more when I have the time. But that writing is the burning in my soul, that desire to share with anyone who wants to read it, my journey with God to God, and hopefully, somewhere out there someone who needs to hear what I have to say, will stumble upon my blog and with God’s mercy and grace, find their way to Him.

So, looking back at my life to this point?  I think I’ve done pretty darn good

God remembered all my childhood dreams, and fulfilled each one of them.  Just not the way I had dreamed it.  No.  He took those childish dreams and found the way to make them burn in my heart even to this day, and he made each of them come true.

When I had started this introspection I had started it with the premise that I had not accomplished any dream but being a Religious. But I have come to see that I was looking at it all wrong.  He has blessed me with all of my childhood dreams. Everyone of them.  He just had a different view of those dreams than I did….but you know what?   I like His view a whole lot better!

May God bless you on your journey

It’s a small book and is a quick read, but I must say it should be read, and then re-read at a slower pace to allow the information to actually sink in, and give the mind and heart time to absorb, make sense of, and process.

I would recommend this book to anyone who is discerning a vocation of any kind – whether it be to the Religious Life, Priesthood, Marriage, or Single Life.  Each of us has a vocation, but sometimes understanding what it is takes some hard work and a lot of praying.

Becoming Who You Are will help give some insights and practical advice to help with that discernment. Does it have all the answers? No. Does it tell you step by step how to understand your vocation? Again, No.

But it will help you to understand and get on the path of becoming who you are, and when you are on that path, with prayer and faith, God will take care of showing you the rest.

(Reading from the 19th Sunday in Ordinary Time, year A)

At the mountain of God, Horeb, Elijah came to a cave where he took shelter. Then the Lord said to him, “Go outside and stand on the mountain before the Lord; the Lord will be passing by.”  A strong and heavy wind was rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the Lord – but the Lord was not in the wind.   After the wind there was an earthquake – but the Lord was not in the earthquake.  After the earthquake there was a fire – but the Lord was not in the fire.  After the fire there was a tiny whispering sound.  When he heard this, Elijah hid his face in his cloak and went and stood at the entrance of the cave.   – 1 Kings 19:9a, 11-13a

So, you ask, what does this have to do with me?

I’m glad you asked

So often we are caught up in finding God in the next emotional “high” and when we don’t we go away feeling empty and disappointed.  We expect every encounter with our God to be booming voices, angelic choirs, and heavenly beams of light shining down on us. And guess what my friends?  That’s normally not how it works.

Elijah knew that God was not in the wind - although God was protecting Elijah from the destructive force of the wind. Elijah knew that God was not in the earthquake -although again, God was protecting him.  Elijah knew that God was not in the fire – although God again, protected Elijah from the damaging flames.   No, Elijah knew that although God is in all things, they themselves were not God, nor were they his voice.

But when Elijah heard the stillness, the peace, the quiet, the calm….ah!! then he knew that that was the voice of the Lord.  See, God doesn’t shout. God doesn’t scream and yell. No, he whispers, softly, gently, in our hearts.

We have to calm the wind of our thoughts, the earthquakes of our souls, and the fires of our bodies, and be still. Only then can we hear God over the clamoring noises of our lives. Only then can we hear that still small voice speaking to us, consoling us, instructing us, leading us.

Elsewhere in the Scriptures it says – “Be still, and know that I am God.”

Recently, during a regular talk with my Bishop, I mentioned that although I have an active prayer life, active ministries, and a lot going on, I was missing something. I felt an emptiness that I knew needed to be filled. And low and behold, this reading was at the Mass right after that call. And I realized what I was missing…the quiet.  I spend so much time praying for others, and the Holy Souls, so much time working, so much time doing everything that needs done, that I forgot that I need to be still, shut my mouth, stifle my thoughts, and calm my being, and just be before my God. I have to give Him a chance to speak to me, to nourish me, to strengthen me.

We can hear a thousand homilies, pray a thousand Masses, and say a thousand Rosaries, but if we are not quiet before God, and let him speak, it’s a one sided conversation. And that’s not how friends treat each other.

May God bless you on your journey, and may you find the quiet after the storms to be with God in the stillness of your hearts.

Father, when I look at the Crucifix or at the Blessed Sacrament, reserved in the Tabernacle, I see what you want me to become – like Jesus – open armed and ready. And I do strive for this, even though I fail so many times, you are there to help me back up – someone gives me an encouraging word, or a shoulder when I needed it. It only makes my heart burn to serve you more and more. To be more and more remade in the image of Jesus – loving, compassionate, caring, forgiving, strong!

You have blessed me with so many good things Father through out my life, but only lately do I see my heart turning from the heart of stone to a heart of flesh and blood. A heart ready to break when others are hurting. A heart ready to sing when others are happy. A heart ready to love – even if that love is not returned.

All I can say in this feeble tongue is thank you. Thank you, Father.

During a recent Vocation Workshop a fellow Friar mentioned that she has had a hard time relating to Mary because she sees her as the submissive woman.    And this, of course, started a thought process in my head that I had to squash for the time being so I could focus on the task at hand – Vocations.    But I didn’t want to lose that thought because it is worth pondering.

Looking at the Gospel of Luke we do see Mary as the humble maiden.  A woman of her time. And that means that yes she probably was treated as “just a woman.”  But we must remember the time period in which Mary lived.

If she were here today how would we see her? As the Mother Theresa that stood up and did what needed to be done on the streets of Calcutta?  As the CEO of a major corporation? A mother and a housewife? A teacher?  Societal roles for women have evolved and changed over the last two thousand years.  So of us today to look at Mary and see her as the submissive woman, it can be difficult.  But she was not only submissive, she held the fate of the world in her hands – and she knew it!

When Gabriel came to her of course she was concerned, frightened, overwhelmed. He was telling her that she was going to become pregnant.  Here she was a virgin, engaged to marry Joseph, never been with a man in that way, and this angel was telling her she was going to conceive and bare a son!   

Her first reaction??  How can this be, for I have never been with a man!! The angel rewards her honesty and directness with an answer – that the Spirit of God will overshadow her and she will bear the child of God.

At that moment all of heaven and earth held their breath! The angels fidgeted while she pondered this.  Creation itself was quivering in anticipation of her response.  They all knew full well how her answer either way would affect the world, would affect humanity. 

Seconds felt like hours as she thought on what the angel had just told her.  She knew all to well the full implications of what the angel had just told her….she was a single woman, she could be stoned for adultery at the very worst, or an outcast among her people.  She would risk bringing shame on a man that wanted to marry her. 

Perhaps too, she thought about what this child would do for Israel, for the world. Did she have a complete picture – probably not. She knew the scriptures, she had an idea, but no, I don’t think she saw all of the outcome of what this decision of hers would do – at least not at that moment. 

Was she the submissive woman? Yes.  But she was also the one in charge at that moment. She could have very easily said “No”; she could have very easily turned her back on her people, on the world, on God.

But with conviction and true humility, in true control of her life, trusting only in God, she said “May it be done to me according to your word.”

The angels and all creation exhaled in relief. The universe sighed a sigh that would echo down through the generations.  Submissive? yes.  Humble? yes.  But isn’t that how all of us are supposed to be?

May God bless you on your journey!

Here is a really good article on Liberating Mary.

No, I’m not talking of literally holding our breath. But when we are confronted with a problem for example, health problems, we seem to be holding our breath waiting for the results.  And then when the results come back all right, we kind of give that mental exhale.

A very dear friend of mine was going in this morning for some tests. All weekend it seemed as if we were holding our breath waiting.  Thanks be to God the results were fine, and we both let out that mental exhale.

It’s normal to be concerned, anxious, worried.  Jesus knows we are going to worry about things, that’s why he told us not to. He is in control, and all things happen for His glory. Whether we are able to understand how or not, all things happen as they should; and our worrying about it, really won’t change the outcome – it just makes us sick.

“Come to me all who are troubled and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” He wants us to come to him, lay those troubles at his feet, and trust that he will be with us every step of the way, no matter what!

God is our refuge and our strength – if only we let Him be!

May God bless you on your journey!

Sometimes that is how I feel when it comes to Ordinary Time. We’re done with the Celebrations and now it’s back to the everyday.  And I willingly admit that Ordinary Time has not been my favorite liturgical season in the past.

But when it comes to our daily lives, most of our time is spent doing ordinary activities: working, house work, laundry, cooking, driving here or there, etc.  Within our daily lives there really are not that many moments that are “spectacular”, where we see fireworks exploding, bands ringing out joyous music.  Yes those times are in our lives – graduations, weddings, anniversaries, and sometimes even an unexpected moment.  

But then our lives return to the every day.  And that is what I have learned this year!  It’s ok to have “ordinary” time in our lives.  Other than a few occasions during Jesus’ ministry, most of it was spent in ordinary settings, teaching, eating, walking.  Very few times did Jesus’ ministry explode with fireworks like at the Transfiguration.  He spent his ministry in quiet, humble teaching.

So we should always look on our “ordinary” times as a blessing.  Yes, we have deadlines, and hectic schedules and often we meet ourselves getting into bed as we are getting out of bed. But it is in these times that we share ourselves with others. We are all called to be imitators of Christ, bringing Christ to the world, seeing Jesus in each other, and being there to help and support each other on our journey to the eternal Jerusalem.

So how we present ourselves during our ordinary time is how others see us!

When we are so busy we barely have time to smile, when we have so much on our plate that we know we cannot fit one more thing on and we are given yet another task to do, when we just want to crash on the couch and vegitate for a few minutes, but the laundry needs done, supper needs cooked, homework checked, baths done, floors swept, can others see Jesus in us?

This is our ordinary time. This is where we are in the liturgical year – we resume our regularly schedule program already in progress, and the first thing Jesus says to us is what?

“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”  Mat 11:28-30

Welcome back to Ordinary Time, may God bless you on your journey.

The Feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus is a good example of this.  We just celebrated Pentecost where we received the gift of the Holy Spirit, again reminding us that although Jesus is no longer in the flesh among us, His Spirit is!  And this past Sunday we celebrated the Body and Blood of Christ, another reminder that Jesus did not leave us out here to fend for ourselves as sheep among wolves.

The Sacred Heart reminds us that we are always right there – held in his heart. We are never far from him, because he is in us – through the Sacrament of the Most Holy Eucharist, and we are in him – in His Most Sacred Heart.

The prayer from the Mass and the Liturgy of the Hours for this Feast is:

“Father, we rejoice in the gifts of love we have received from the heart of Jesus, your Son. Open our hearts to share his life and continue to bless us with his love.”

O my Jesus, you have said: “Truly I say to you, heaven and earth will pass away but my words will not pass away.” Encouraged by your infallible words I now ask for the grace of…..(here name your request) Our Father….Hail Mary….Glory Be to the Father…Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in you.

O Sacred Heart of Jesus, for whom it is impossible not to have compassion on the afflicted, have pity on us miserable sinners and grant us the grace which we ask of you, through the Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, your tender Mother and ours.

Say the Hail, Holy Queen and add: St. Joseph, foster father of Jesus, pray for us.

But I couldn’t let this celebration pass without comment.  All of our Christian Feasts and Solemnities are important – Christmas, Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter, Pentecost, etc.  But this Feast celebrates the abiding love Christ has for us.

During the Last Supper, Jesus told his Disciples that he was going away, but he would give them his Spirit and be with them always.  He also left them his Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity in the form of simple bread and wine.

Why?

The very act of union contained within the Holy Eucharist not only binds us to God, to Jesus, to the Holy Spirit, it binds and unites us with all believers! We are NOT  alone, we are NOT in this all by ourselves.  Yes, sometimes it may feel like we are, but we must remember, we are NOT. Because we have his Body, we have his Blood.  And we have his Holy Spirit.

This feast is a feast of the whole church of God united under the one banner of love, sacrifice, charity, peace, and understanding. We may not always see eye to eye with our fellow Christians when it comes to how to worship, where to worship, when to worship, BUT we still have the same Lord, the same Master, and we still share the same Spirit.

Let us gather around the holy Altar together and let us recall the love God has for us.

May God bless you on your journey.